I thought I was going to be great at picture taking and keeping up with my sewing projects on this blog, but Ive let everyone down! I thought if I had people that knew I was blogging about my sewing-ness that I'd be held accountable in a way that would encourage me to keep it up! I know I should be posting about sewing...but life has been hectic...choices are needing to be made...and I don't really know where I'll be living in about a months time. I like where I am here in Texas...tumbleweeds actually blow out in these parts :) ! But I can't live in the situation I am in, and sadly I've been in it for 6 months. 'Someone' (yes I know without a doubt who it was, but I'll keep from mentioning who in order to keep focused) ran over my dog.
Merla was a Catahoula Mix. My protector. My toe-warmer in the winter. Merla was 2 years old. My blue-eyed pup who loved to feel the wind in her face, it didn't matter if we were on a backroad or the highway.
She was my 62 pound cuddle-bug. She knew when I was sick, happy, sad, or pissed...it didnt matter...she knew. Merla could pick out 'the bad guys'..and quietly let them know to stay away. She could have been my twin in a previous life. We were a team together. The day she passed...I knew something wasn't right...then I got the call...and there was nothing I could do but go as fast as my truck would go...its 14 miles from work into town and that was the longest 14 miles of my life. The 'man' that took her life has yet to apologize to me. He has shown no sympathy. No remorse. Nothing. Notta. Now his family feels that I need to apologize to them for the way I've been treating this said 'man'. I have NOT been in the position to talk or see anyone one in this 'said' family...so tell me...how have I been treating him wrongly. Wrongly treating him would be if I was to egg their house. Throw poo on their front door and at their window screens. Let the air out of their truck tires. Or if I had turned their water on at night and let it run! I could have even gone and cut their telephone line! That would be treating him wrongly!!! As much as I wanted to do all those things I haven't. I haven't said ONE word to them or done ONE thing wrong. Please tell me why I am expected to apologize to them?!?! Maybe I should just apologize for not doing all those I felt like doing. Ive been biting my tongue long enough. If my boyfriend cant stand up for me in our relationship to this 'said' family...then he isn't the man I thought he was. And I don't want a future with a boy...I want a man to hold me up when I am weak, A man that will stand beside me, who will confide in me as I would him. I want a man that I can trust. I need a man in my future who knows what he wants and will go after it...one with ambition! So all in all I will say I am sorry to those of you who actually read my blog (my 2 friends)...this is more of a venting post then a sewing post. This isn't something I can just post on fb. Its not something I can just call up a friend and talk about. Sure some know a little about whats going on. Most don't know about a letter from the 'man's' step-daughter telling me that "...if I love my bf and want to make it work, then you have to make it work with us." How about about that crap!! I better end this before I do something 'wrong'.
One more picture of my angel that keeps visiting me in my dreams :)
Merla Mae
...My Merla Moo...
I started wondering what happened to you, but it took me a while to remember to check--I am sorry!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read about the trials you are going through and about your sweet dog being killed.
This is definitely one of those seasons of difficulty. I hope that things look up and you can move onto different things. (And, I really hope you sew and blog again--your absence has been noticed! ;)